jwz

So, I saw these guys at SXSW and bailed on them after 1.5 songs because they were 15 minutes late, and then did a 15 minute sound check, and I had places to be -- you do not pull that shit at a festival like that. Anyway, several people said they had a great live show, which I did not even remotely experience in that song and a half, so I gave them another shot, but I didn't experience it again tonight. Now let me be clear -- it sounded great, and I love their recorded material, and you should buy their album, but they have no show. People who think they have a show must be comparing them to DJs instead of to bands. It's true that the vocalist did occasional fills over the canned drum track, but when the drum-heavy song starts, and the person with sticks in her hands is just standing there bobbing her head... that's a fuckin' problem for me.

If this sounds like the band that you are in, please, for the love of all that is rock and roll: befriend a bass player and/or a drummer. Don't let your mere enthusiasm be the Maginot Line between you and karaoke. You won't sound that different, and people who have actually seen a show will think they are seeing one again.

Also, here's our Fuck You Apple moment for the evening:

Let's say the show has just ended, and you're leaning against the bar looking at the photos on your phone, select the two you like, hit "Share", and pound out a bitchy blog post like the one above... and then you decide, "I'd better pop over to Safari and make sure I spelled 'Maginot' correctly..." then you go back to the Photos app, and your post is gone. So you check the Drafts folder in the Mail app, and, no, it's gone.

So you have to re-type it from memory. Fuck You Apple.

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jwz

It is 1992 and I am at House of Usher. But I don't remember the 3rd floor of DV8 being so spacious.

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jwz

But, holy hell, there were twenty-five minutes of trailers before the movie started, beginning at the posted show time. Not even counting the (presumed) half hour of non-movie commercials before show time, which I missed.

Is 25 minutes the new normal? I remember being aghast when 15 became the new normal from 10, which seems like it wasn't that long ago.

With that many commercials -- about 1/5th of the running time of the movie itself -- why am I expected to pay admission too? I understood that my eyeballs were the product in this sale.

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jwz

• Zoo caretaker licks monkey's butt for an hour to help it defecate.

• Santa Ana Zoo: We don't lick monkey butt like they do in China.

Previously, previously, previously, previously.

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jwz

You know, just in case.

Also, German Spermatorrhoea Ring:

Spermatorrhoea means involuntary loss of semen, although the rings were also intended to prevent voluntary discharges from masturbation or Onanism. The ring was placed at the base of the penis and fasted with a screw such that any engorgement of the organ would meet with the teeth of the ring and arrest the process.

Previously, previously, previously, previously, previously.

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jwz

The Sarcastic Fringehead has had enough of your jibba-jabba.

2:09: The good stuff.
0:53: Versus octopus.

Previously, previously, previously.

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jwz

"Uh oh. Semen."

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jwz

Pro tip: Set your default ring tone to something quiet, and use a louder custom ring tone for anyone you might actually want to receive a voice call from.

Update, May 14: Hah! I spoke too soon, they're still calling!

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jwz

Unlike some other scientists engaged in geoengineering, Eisenberger is not bothered by the notion of tinkering with nature. "We have devised a system that introduces no additional threats into the environment,'' he told me. "And the idea of interfering with benign nature is ridiculous. The Bambi view of nature is totally false. Nature is violent, amoral, and nihilistic. If you look at the history of this planet, you will see cycles of creation and destruction that would offend our morality as human beings. But somehow, because it's `nature,' it's supposed to be fine.'' [...]

The most environmentally sound approach to geoengineering is the least palatable politically. "If it becomes necessary to ring the planet with sulfates, why would you do that all at once?'' Ken Caldeira asked. "If the total amount of climate change that occurs could be neutralized by one Mt. Pinatubo, then doesn't it make sense to add one per cent this year, two per cent next year, and three per cent the year after that?'' he said. "Ramp it up slowly, throughout the century, and that way we can monitor what is happening. If we see something at one per cent that seems dangerous, we can easily dial it back. But who is going to do that when we don't have a visible crisis? Which politician in which country?''

Unfortunately, the least risky approach politically is also the most dangerous: do nothing until the world is faced with a cataclysm and then slip into a frenzied crisis mode. The political implications of any such action would be impossible to overstate. What would happen, for example, if one country decided to embark on such a program without the agreement of other countries? Or if industrialized nations agreed to inject sulfur particles into the stratosphere and accidentally set off a climate emergency that caused drought in China, India, or Africa?

Game Over for the Climate

If this sounds apocalyptic, it is. This is why we need to reduce emissions dramatically. President Obama has the power not only to deny tar sands oil additional access to Gulf Coast refining, which Canada desires in part for export markets, but also to encourage economic incentives to leave tar sands and other dirty fuels in the ground. [...]

But instead of placing a rising fee on carbon emissions to make fossil fuels pay their true costs, leveling the energy playing field, the world's governments are forcing the public to subsidize fossil fuels with hundreds of billions of dollars per year. This encourages a frantic stampede to extract every fossil fuel through mountaintop removal, longwall mining, hydraulic fracturing, tar sands and tar shale extraction, and deep ocean and Arctic drilling.

Previously, previously, previously, previously.

Mirrored from jwz.org.